changes.

I have been avoiding this post for many reasons.

Emotions have been too raw.
I didn't want to put something out there out of anger that I would regret and could not take back.

A bit of time has passed, so here goes.

Marriage is hard.

Such a simple statement with so much packed behind it.

Hubby and I have been together for a little over 7 years.  We are raising a family together.  We built a very successful business together.  We created a life and future together.  We've certainly had our problems over the years, but no specific/major issues.  I admit, we fell into quite a rut - lacking good communication, lacking passion and excitement, letting our relationship fall by the wayside.  I certainly feel that I've been taken for granted and I let it happen.  I'll own up to that.  As I've addressed before, I have issues with boundaries for myself.  I'll also own up to the fact that I turned into the classic nagging wife.

Still, none of this justifies what happened.  Ryan stepped out of the marriage.  There's not really any other way to put it.  I was blindsided, confused, angry, betrayed, devastated. . .you name it.  The other woman is still in the picture.  I could say many many things here in reference to her or her character, but I am better than that.  I will be better than that.

We're at a point of separation right now.  I have no idea what the future will hold.  We're trying to maintain normality for the kids.  We are still best friends.  We still talk regularly, go to the gym together, etc.  Weird.  I know.  Our lives are very intertwined and meshed together.  This might require an entire restructuring of my whole outlook on life and my entire future.

Only time will tell.

I am trying to be in a place of peace, a place of hopefulness right now.  I am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking and refuse to let this turn me into a negative person.  I know the future holds good things.